Thursday, May 24, 2007

Oh, And This Is That Other Rush Whom I Won't Comment On Because I Refuse To Address Frauds Or Chaucerian Charlatans...

I Don't Have Faith In Faith, I Will Quietly Resist: Rush's 'Snakes & Arrows'

My Rush journey has been a rocky one; Those ponderous, ten-minute tracks, Geddy Lee's caterwaul, the Spinal Tap presentation, the dick-shrinking mullets, those weird trenchcoat wearing fans....

...but then I saw them live ('Signals' tour, 1983, LaCrosse, Wisconsin) and ferocious, drumkit-stud/lyricist Neal Peart claimed my heart and soul for all time. And because prog-rock is coming back in a big way (Grizzly Bear, The Klaxons) Rush sounds as fresh as anything you'll read about on Listen to 'Red Barchetta' and you'll find your funk pointing to points North Of The Border.

Rush's new release, 'Snakes & Arrows', is same ol' Rush we all know but with a barely detectable edge. Geddy's screech has mellowed with age so the world-weary lyrics pop in stark relief, kind of like a fact drooling from the slack-jawed mouth of Elisabeth Hasselbeck or, say, a Democrat in Congress who has the balls to own the courage of his/her convictions...

'Faithless' is the track that truly stands out for me. It's as epic and lush as Led Zep's 'Kashmir' and just as introspective as 'Kashmir' wasn't. "I don't have faith in faith/I don't believe in belief..."

Good stuff.

...sadly, poking around YouTube for a Rush visual that backs me up, all I could come up with were a few embarrassing fan-made videos for tracks off of their new release 'Snakes & Arrows'. Word of advice: Don't brag about how much you dig Rush if you're single and posting profiles on,,, or wherever your peddling your wares...Rush fandom isn't exactly sexay.

But Neal Peart is sexay and here's proof:

Thursday, May 10, 2007

Oink! party starts Wednesday (and you know what that means...)

...OPEN BAR!!!! Yes, that's right...all the Svedka, Jim Beam & Miller Lite you can toss down your gullet (from 9-10)...AND, you'll have the additional thrill of experiencing me, DJ Satisfaction Pony, in the flesh, spinning for YOU! Dry your tears, mate! All your dreams are coming true!

What's on the Ponyman's set list?

new Nine Inch Nails
Out Hud (of course)
New York Dolls
Gary Numan
Emotional Rescue-vintage Stones
T. Rex
Louis XVI
some hyphy
The Troggs (their re-do of The Beach Boys' "Good Vibrations" is evil)
A shitload of Brooklyn Bands (yeahyeahyeahs, brazilian girls et. al)
The Knife
AM nuggets like David Dundas' "Jeans On", Andrea True, George McRae
James Brown & The J.B.'s
a liberal sprinkling of Hair Metal (Poison, Quiet Riot, White Lion)
Lily Allen/Amy Winehouse/Just Jack/The Noisettes
Bowie remixes
The Cars
The Presets
sick mashups (e.g. "Smells Like Booty" which is Destiny's Child's "Bootyliscious" meets Nirvana's "Smells Like Teen Spirit")
Iggy & The Stooges
Old Skool Hip Hop (Slick Rick, Run DMC, The Beasties)

Lotsa good times on the dance floor for sure...

Come early (Grab the M Train if you must), stay late, call in sick on Thursday!

Sunday, May 06, 2007



Cruel Irony: Least Favorite Band Ever Opens Douchehole Mere Blocks Away From My Main Hang.

A Friday or two ago, ClearChannel annointed teenage-fatgirl magnets/guyliner heroes, "Fall-Out Boi", launched a "dive bar" just a few blocks up the street from my own favorite watering hole 'Big Lug'. The name of this "neo-dump" is "Angels And Kings". What's on tap? A menufull of $10 Ashlee Simpson-approved umbrella drinks and a few shitty d.j.'s spinning crap.

Wanna go?

Mmm...I'd love to belly up to the bar with all the budding Dylan Thomases and Brendan Behans at THIS public house!

Saturday, May 05, 2007

"It's For You" (breathebreathebreathe)!: Out Hud's doityourself Dancefloor Masterpiece.

I don't know who Out Hud is exactly (except that they either birthed !!! or they produced !!!...who the hell is !!! anyway?) but if we lived in reasonable times and if radio wasn't under Timbaland ft. Akon lockdown, Out Hud would find themselves with a multi-platinum mega-smash on their hands.

...funny, possibly cross-gender fatal attraction narrative set against the fattest beats ever and a keyboard break that is so Studio 54 dirty/pretty that pubic lice do the bump and blow rails on your pleasure trail whenever Out Hud picks up the phone:


Classic track.

Thanks, Jane *you know who you are*.

Wednesday, May 02, 2007

Visit Bjork Between The Holidays!

Quick! Absorb Alex Borstein's comic genius before Viacom yanks it!

Tuesday, May 01, 2007

Bjork Gets Skinned By Whitney & Bob-bay!

I'm drunk off my ass on cheap domestic brew and I have to prove to you folks once and for all why it is that Bjork makes me laugh until Blatz squirts out my nostrils. It's because this sketch ruined it for me for all time:

Bjork's 'Declare Independence'.

Unbelievable. Sex Pistol-esque intensity sustained for four minutes and forty seconds.

"declare independence/don't let them do that to you"

The 2 duets w/ Antony of Antony & The Johnsons are, um, unfortunate.